Feeling s ain't control by me ...

Last nite , s de ' hua che you xing ' 4 de wesak day ~ Den i go help , actually i din noe tat my name ady register jo geh ~ so wei tel me tat full jo , bt they stil cl me go help ... Sry , im nt purposely abandon u geh .... Btw , yesterday i saw J oso gt go help , bt actually i duno wheater is him or nt ... Bt after tat i saw him d , reli s him ... Lol , he ask me to stand beside him cz wana chat , our post at tat time s hv to ' protect ' de flower car geh ... So the main thing s ned hold our hands up ~ Well , i dun mind , bt the moment he hold my hand , de feeling s just so familiar to me ... The feeling s so special jz like de time i hold L hand .... I nvr ignore tat i gt ' hao gan ' to him .... Bt cn i noe de feelings s like ? hao gan ? or love ? I duno ... Its jz fel so close wif him .... Bt after tat he ask me sumting tat reli remind me tat i've been hurt b4 ... I cry out ... Bt mayb he duno ... Bt even he saw it ... the reason it jz oli ... Im tired .... Nvr tell u de truth .... I noe tat betwen us wont hv any relationship .... U thought us tat ....

Sooooo EMBARRASSING !

Lol ~ Wat de ~ I did nt noe anything ~ i oli noe my skul s definately list up as a school of terror ~ OMG ! I ned newspaper pls ~ Today at tuition cls at kl , the maths teacher use his loud tone to ask me '' u r seri garing student o ?? Y so famous d a ?? '' Everybody r looking towards me ~ Such a ... Im definately speechless >.<>.< Tis morning , i saw tat B dog again ~ Everyday sure saw him geh ~ Refuse lar !!! In de other side , i saw A cry ... I used to noe after tat ~ Tat B dog again lor ~ Duno wat de hell he set in his blardy mangkuk mind . He cn tel any1 tat he love tat ppl 4ever , nw tell PP . B4 tat leh , so many gurls oso gt his word la , by den wat hapen , wat he said s oso jz a bullshyt la ~~ A cry 4 wat wor ~ Be strong ! Show him tat wat he do wil nvr interupt u ! Show him tat u cn live without him ! Show him tat after he hurt a girl , tat gurl oso wil be strong like b4 ! Single gurlz oso cn live as happy as they r ! If u wana cry , jz cry out lar , dun bother bout wat they say ~ No body wil k wat de story behind u b4 ~ Dun make ur tears stuck off ~ U show ur strong personality by nvr gt interupt wif wat he s doin ~ Bt nt dun cry ifront of them ~ ok ?? Cn u gt wat i mean ?? Sure , u hv to ~ watever ~ I wil help u as long as i cn lar ~ Here's de time i ned to go to my dearest lovely bed ~ Bye pals ~ Muackz

Hmm .....

Lol ~ 1st of all ... Thx 4 u gurlz/ guyz care .... Im reli appreciate of it ~ Recently gt to knew tat he hatred me ... Bt i nvr noe tat ... U noe wat he hate ?? he hates me cz i oways dun wan to go out ~ 1st , i nvr say tat i dun want go out bt i cnt go out , 2nd , u nvr ask me 4 a date ~ Til nw , u blame on me ?? All de things u mind , did u ever realize tat u r so selfish ?? U do ! U say til me s de block of tis relationship ! Im reli vry dissapointed ... Wei tel me ur conversation betwen u n her bout me , did u realize ur word s hurting me ?? Ur word hurts me a lot .... Bt u nvr realize ! Ur dream gurl , s de kind cn always acc u .... sure , im nt de 1 u ned ... Tats y ! Dun blame on me pls .... U say u tink bout me everything , do u reli did tat ?? No ! U r jz saying wat ur heart wana say , which mean , wat u say s jz 4 urself .... Tats enuf ... Im hd gt a lot of hurt from u ...Tis punishment s reli enuf 4 me .... Well , 4/7 n 10/9 i'll try to 4gt it ... No mater i cn or cnt ... I wil prove tat i cn live without u ! Wong Sue Wan cn live without u ! If u dun love me , u dun waste my time from giving hope to me .....Pls , i beg u ~ U nt de 1 i knew last time .... U wana noe gurls ~ Go ahead , go n ask their num ~ Go ask 4 a new relationship ~ I will oli say tat , wish u all de best ~ Well , im glad to hv pauline , joanne , hayley n our group of frenz as my best ji mui at wed n thur ~ U gurlz r all de best ! Muackz ~ Other den tat , Carmen .... I reli appreciate tat u were always beside me ... I wil list u up as my best fren 4 ever jz like Wendy ^^ ~ Bt sumting u reli ned to pay sum attention ... Pui yong reli threat u all de best from him ya ... Dun abandon hm ... appreciate wat he hd done 4 u ^^ Wish u 2 hv nice day 4 ur whole life ya~ K , its de time 4 bed ^^ Gd nite pal ~ Sweet dreams muackz ^^

IM WEAK !!!

I promise i must be strong ~ Sry , i cnt make it ... Reli cnt ... Today Rao find me to meet at bilik kaunseling ... I noe tat its de time i reli should talk to him , mayb im a bit lazy recently so i din go find him to chat .... After tat ,he told me tat my fren A r using my name .... Telling everyone wong sue wan s my best fren ... N ty to get me into trouble ... I duno tat izit real or fake ... ?! May i noe it ?? Or should i jz act like ntg ...?? In tis moment i wil say tat , i'll trust u as a fren ... Bt i wil curious as a anonymous ppl ... Den , Rao thought me tat yesterday had a new practical teacher , a chinese teacher , woman hd came to our skul as practical counselor ~ Rao hd refer me to her ... She s quite friendly bt i tink so she s quite out of dicussion cz wat she chat wif me s more den my skul life n so on ~ Bt anyway , maybe she wana noe more bout me ... I hd held at de bilik kaunseling since 10 to 11.50 ~ Lol ~ long time , dude ~ Overall , tis nw im stil remember tat Rao said tat i hd chg , chg my attidue ~ N i hd chg til nt myself ...If let say last time , i wil fight for anything i ever wanted ... Bt nw ... At tis moment , i feel tat im nt actually myself ... Wong Sue Wan had dissapear in tis world ... Oli left a weaker name wong sue wan .... I used to cry every nite ... everyday ... The reason s ..... Im oso out of my mind ... Ppl would like to say tat emo ... Bt i wil say tat , whr s last time wong sue wan ?? Whr s her anger ?? Y dun u show ur strongest time ?? Y dun u let him down ?? Y dun u control urself ?? Y dun u jz act like ntg when u feel tat involuntary tears rushing out ?? All tis s my question ~ Bt i'll nvr get my answer ... I try to be stronger ! I wana be stronger ! I must be stronger ! Bt de problem s , do i hv de ability to be stronger ?? The answer s ... I dun hv ... Wong Sue Wan nvr hv it ! Nwdays , the wong sue wan u saw s oli a weaker ! One day , she wil pick up all her anger n fight 4 anything she ever wanted ! Wong Sue Wan wil hv de ability to be stronger !!!

Haiz .....

I din find u dosen mean i reli dun care bout u ... I din chat wif u dosen mean tat i reli hatred u ... I din speak out dosen mean tat i meant to be quiet ... There s many things tat i wish to share wif u ... Bt ... I dun wana let u wory ... The moment i cry ... where are u ? The moment i happy ... R u happy ?? I use to noe bout it .. jz tat i dun hv a chance to noe everything bout u .... Dun ever say tat i forgeted u ... Dun ever tink tat i nvr miss u .... Dun ever tink tat i nvr regret .... Im sory ...

New year , new blog ~

Lol , i hd create my third blog ~ Haha , watever =.= ... Recently im tired ! RELI TIRED ! Not those normal tired , s abnormal tired ~ Haiz , examination , projek , friendz problem are definately approaching to me ~ Lol , even im typing tis blog , i oso feel like droping down to de floor ~ Haiz , today wei cry le ... Cz mayb she misunderstand jun jie's feeling , last nite he ask me to explain to wei tat he n wei jz fren oli , wont hv any changing state between them .. Cham >.<>.< tell u all next time na ^^ C ya ~